Porn Name All-Stars – Big Ten Edition

I had a hard time deciding which conference to cover this weekend. I had already scoured rosters and made my lists for either the Big East (gotta catch them on the rise!) or the Big 12 (homer instinct). Then I saw the promos for the big #1 vs. #2 matchup this weekend – Michigan vs. Ohio State. Of course! The Big Ten! Which also sounds like a good porn name.

If you are new and need a refresher in the concept, visit last week’s post.

Ladies & Gentlemen, I present your 2006 Big Ten Porn Name All-Stars:

Offense

Juice Williams – QB – Illinois
Jeff Panfil – QB – Purdue
We were a bit light on QBs this week. What I wouldn’t give for Jeff Smoker’s younger brother to be playing at Michigan State right now.

Tom Busch – RB – Iowa
Amir Pinnix – RB – Minnesota
Kory Sheets – RB – Purdue

Derek Harden – WR – Ohio State
Eric Peterman – WR – Northwestern
Bryant Creamer – WR – Illinois
Nick Polk – WR – Indiana
Kirk DeCremer – TE – Wisconsin
Kyle Sackrider – TE – Michigan State
Will Crall – TE – Ohio State

Jon Asamoah – OL – Illinois
Kenny Love – OL – Indiana
Jake Long – OL – Michigan
John Masters – OL – Michigan State
Joe Tripodi – OL – Northwestern

Defense

Jay Ramshaw – DL – Illinois
Joe Kremer – DL – Indiana
Jonal Saint-Dic – DL – Michigan State
Quinn Pitcock – DL – Ohio State
Clint Huntrods – DL – Iowa

Mike Humpal – LB – Iowa
Deon Hightower – LB – Minnesota
Adam Licker – LB – Ohio State
Antonio Steele – LB – Illinois

Spencer Ridenhour – DB – Penn State
Matt Hornaday – DB – Michigan
Doug Rheam – DB – Penn State
Antonio Gully – DB – Illinois
Major Ramsey – DB – Indiana

Special Teams

Brandon Ream – P – Penn State
Andrew Ley – K – Michigan State
Garret Bushong – WR/KR – Purdue
Jack Wall – OL/LS – Illinois

I guess you’ll be wanting a prediction here.

(Drumroll, please)
Based on quantity and quality of Porn Names, Ohio State will still be the undefeated #1 in the BCS standings when they wake up Sunday morning.

Previous editions:

The SEC

The ACC