Porn Name All-Stars: The 2007 NFL Draft

Some of you may remember that I had a feature during college football season called Porn Name All Stars. In it, I scoured big-conference rosters for names that would be equally at home on the set of a stag film. This meant not only names that sounded dirty, but also nicknames that are favored by porn stars, like “Buck” or “Colt”. The recently-completed NFL Draft gives me an excuse to dust off the concept again, and look at the names that made NFL rosters this past weekend. There will be some new names on here as well, as my reach never extended to the small schools (or even the Big East) last season. Enjoy.

Pick – Name, Position, School (NFL Team)
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Pick #33 – Alan “Hung Like A” Branch, DT, Michigan (Arizona)

Pick #56 – Tim Crowder, DE, Texas (Denver)

Pick #89 – Aaron Rouse, S, Virginia Tech (Green Bay)

Pick #98 – Quinn Pitcock, DT, Ohio State (Indianapolis)

Pick #100 – Michael Bush, RB, Louisville (Oakland)

Pick #103 – Isaiah Stanback, QB, Washington (Dallas)

Pick #125 – Jermon Bushrod, OT, Towson (New Orleans)

Pick #142 – Steve Breaston, WR, Michigan (Arizona)

Pick #153 – Kevin Boss, TE, Western Oregon (NY Giants)

Pick #170 – William Gay, CB, Louisville (Pittsburgh)

Pick #179 – HB Blades, ILB, Pittsburgh (Washington)

Pick #183 – Kasey Studdard, OG, Texas (Houston)

Pick #203 – Daren Stone, S, Maine (Atlanta)

Pick #239 – C.J. Ah You, DE, Oklahoma (Buffalo)

Pick #255 – Ramzee Robinson, CB, Alabama (Detroit)

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Hopefully these All-Stars will be replaced by equally pornalicious names via recruiting and junior college transfers. Some returning players, like UConn’s Jimmy McClam and Michigan State’s Kyle Sackrider, will no doubt make the team again in the upcoming year as well.

Let’s make sure we give 110% and leave it all on the field this year, gentlemen!