Representative Virgil Goode (R-Virginia) has caused an uproar with anti-muslim statements he made in this letter to a constituent. Critics have called the letter xenophobic and racist, and marvel that the Congressman was able to disseminate his opinions so quickly while using technology prevalent in the 17th century.
At least one minority group is giving the beleagured lawmaker much-needed support, however. The World Indigenous Tribes Establishment has joined with the Official Union of Tribes to form a powerful lobbying group. And they think Goode is right. In fact, they don’t think his policy goes far enough.
“The Congressman is right” said WITE-OUT spokesman Leonard Quosset “most of the problems in this country can be traced to unchecked immigration. Quoting from his letter, he says ‘We need to stop illegal immigration totally and reduce legal immigration… to prevent our resources from being swamped’. Nobody can attest to the truth of that statement like my people can”.
Quosset continued. “Where we think he’s a bit soft is on the time frame. Why settle for halting the immigration problem where it is now? We feel that any future immigration bill should not only arrest the flow of current and future non-citizens, but should also contain a retroactive provision. Kicking out anyone who didn’t live here before oh, say… roughly 1600 A.D. ought to get this country back on the right track.”
Goode issued a statement thanking WITE-OUT for their support, but took some issue with the retroactivity clause.
While I agree in theory with Mr. Quosset’s organizational aims, I must reject his notion that his people would be better off if my forefathers had never founded Jamestown. Before white settlement, aboriginals were shiftless layabouts – hunter/gatherers with no system of ownership. They wandered the pristine countryside of this great nation and did as they pleased. What kind of life is that? Without us you wouldn’t have casinos or tax-free cigarettes, and no reservation to call your own. Clearly, you need us.
With the Koran-contra scandal following Macaca-gate, Virginia voters are tired of being embarrassed by their elected officials. “I’da voted for Goode’s opponent, Al Weed” said Agriculture Consultant and Fifth District resident Jimmy Walseck “but I thought those big WEED signs were for the legalization of marijuana. If they legalize it, there go my profits. If I had known he was just a politician, and a Democrat to boot, I would have pulled the right lever.”