The college football world is smiling today, after news reports exposed corruption in the Oklahoma University football program.
News that several Sooner players accepted illegal pay and benefits from a Norman-area car dealership was hailed as “(A) stunning return to form” by college football critic Jonathan Tu. “I wasn’t sure Bob Stoops had it in him.” Tu said in a phone interview “it’s nowhere near as impressive as the Switzer era, but it’s definitely a solid effort.”
Tu also claimed that the OU boondoggle is “several orders of magnitude worse than anything USC has done”.
OU fan Clyde Fannin was overjoyed. “I was afraid little Selmon, Boz, and my baby girl Jamelle was gonna grow up without ever knowing the public shame of being a Sooner, but Coach Stoops has made my dreams come true.” he said “I don’t think we’ll ever see the true lawlessness of the 1988 rape dorms, but I have it on good authority that we’re going to be in hog heaven once Adrian Peterson is safely in the NFL, and free to talk about how we recruited him.”
Coach Bob Stoops could not be reached for comment. Aides claimed he was in an all-day meeting with the Sooner band, imploring them to increase home-field advantage by playing Boomer Sooner louder, longer, and more out of tune.
(thanks goes to this bird’s cousin, One More Dying Quail, who recommended this video)