I’ve been struggling with a decision about SLP. I can’t decide whether to include guys who played a few games last year, but fell well short of a half-season. I’m still thinking. It has to do with the comparison I’m trying to make between Pujols, who tore up his true rookie season, and these new talents. I’m leaning toward including some of these guys, though.
One fella who was on my fantasy keeper team, as I waited for him to get called up was Felix Pie. I think he should really be on this list. I mean, who doesn’t love Pie? What? It’s Pee-aye? That’s not nearly as fun. Then again, I don’t want people to think I’m auditioning for a job writing back-page headlines for the New York Post, either. His name does not rule, but he goes on the list anyway.
In fact, to hell with logic. I’m going to look through the top prospect alert and pick out the guys with the best names. I’m sure this haphazard approach will bring shame on my house, especially compared with the GoodEnough for Me rankings that my counterpart Mr. Thursday is sure to generate. That’s OK, Mr. T – you’ll look better by comparison. Besides, I have to entertain people somehow while we wait for the first pitch.
Here’s what I see:
- Reid Brignac – SS Tampa Bay Devil Rays (Why? Because I actually heard an aluminum bat make that sound *brignac!* during a college game)
- Jacoby Ellsbury – OF Boston Red Sox (mainly because he sounds like he should be in a Jane Austen novel)
- Jarrod Saltalmacchia – C Atlanta Braves (Saltalmacchia sells seashells by the seashore)
- Elvis Andrus – SS Atlanta Braves (His name makes me think of Elvis Presley on Androstenedione, which is a pretty amusing image)
- Emilio Bonifacio – 2B Arizona Diamondbacks (Sounds like a guy who might say “leave the bat, take the cannoli”)
Will any of these guys make an opening day roster? My magic 8 ball says “all signs point to hell no”. But mocking the system is part of the fun here at Extrapolater, and we’ve managed to waste a good ten minutes of your company’s precious time thinking about it, so I’m going to chalk this one up as a moral victory.
As always, your input is welcome in the comment section.