Porn Name All-Stars is a concept born of college football season. In perusing an entire conference full of 85-player rosters, I am able to find representatives at every position with names that are as appropriate for a stag film as they are for the gridiron. Look through the archives if you don’t believe me.
Yesterday’s College World Series matchup brought the concept into summer, as two entire teams clashed in an epic
godown showdown that will no doubt become a serialized feature for Vivid Video any day now:
Beavers vs. Eaters
I know, you will say “How infantile, UC-Irvine are the ANTeaters, dope”. Well, yesterday, they waltzed into Omaha’s Johnny Rosenblatt stadium with dark blue unis emblazoned only with the word “Eaters”. In similar fashion, the Oregon State representatives, who could have gone with “OSU” or “Oregon State”, chose “Beavers” instead. C’mon. We’re talking about college athletes here. They knew what they were doing.
Images of the “Eaters” jerseys were hard to come by, but I found some at Erratic Magic. Big ups to the writers there, who also noticed this sterling matchup.
And, in case you wondered, in a matchup of Beavers vs. Eaters, both teams played hard, but the Beavers were happiest in the end. Mighty selfless of the Eaters, if you ask me.
UPDATE: As S2N helpfully pointed out in the comments, some bright entrepreneur was all over this one, according to this article in The Oregonian.
A guy with a box full of T-shirts reading “Beaver Eaters” stood at the fence of the UC Irvine house and sold his stock of 30.
How would you like to have been the guy at the Nebraska Shirt Hut who had to fast-track that order?
As always, in any college-related story, if you went to either of these schools, and want to set the record straight about your traditions, fight songs, alumni, whatever, drop by my college sports blog College Rule Notebook and tell your story.