Well, Mike Vick done messed up now. I mean, indictments are bad… lost shoe contract revenue is bad… becoming the public face of barbaric animal abuse is all kinds of bad.
However, the prospect of incarceration is nothing compared to what is coming. See, Mike probably wasn’t aware of this, but his Smithfield property is just a hop, skip, and a simper up the road from the national headquarters of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), located on the waterfront in Norfolk, VA.
As Margaret Cho has said, “Do not fuck with vegans, because they will fuck you up. Because they’re HUNGRY!!!!”.
So if Mike decides to surreptitiously drop by the house to pick up his iPod or something, the press will be the least of his worries. An army of weedy bohos in hemp pants with pleather belts could beat him to death with a veritable rainbow of Crocs slip-ons.
They may not be as fast as Dwight Freeney, but there’s more of ’em. Watch your back, man.