So I perused the scores from the weekend, and saw that the dreaded “Extrapolater Article Jinx” had claimed another victim. One week after I finally got around to profililng Nevada , the Wolfpack fell to the New Mexico State Aggies in Las Cruces.
I wondered about the viability of elevating an unranked team to “Who The Hell Are…” status after they had beat the previous week’s entry, but as I perused the Aggies’ website, I saw the piece de resistance – their coach is none other than Reggie Theus!!!! Coach Fuller from NBC’s “Hang Time”? I’m there!
The former NBA star has used his star power to attract a great deal of mercenary talent to the Las Cruces campus. By my count, 10 current players transferred from other universities, including players from Utah, St. John’s, UNC-Charlotte, and Kansas State. Add in a Juco player, coach’s second cousin Londale, and a couple of other Freshman, and you’ve got yourself a decent team.
Sadly, the Aggies have had a few missteps out-of-conference, losing to Loyola Marymount, Arizona, and Louisiana Tech. However, they are 5-1 in the conference, losing only to UNM on the road. They are undefeated at home in the Pan American Center. Can the plucky denizens of Las Cruces win the conference and make the dance? Stay tuned and find out.
The ones to watch:
- Coach’s decision to bring along a relative is eerily reminiscent of a plot from “Hang Time”.
- Is fond of saying “I was Rick Fox before Rick Fox was Rick Fox”.
- Rumored to be considering the role of Mr. Drummond in a remake of “Diff’rent Strokes”, in which he adopts two wise-cracking white children. The move is being vocally opposed by Conrad Baines.
- Starred in this state-of-the-art recruiting video.
- Transferred from Utah. Was surprised by the astounding lack of differences between conference play in the Mountain West and the WAC.
- Thought Utah’s nickname came from the scene in “My Cousin Vinny” where Joe Pesci says “Dese two youts…”
- Actually got a Red Ryder BB Gun for Christmas when he was 11. Did not shoot his own eye out.
- Teammates are convinced that he is over 30 years of age, based primarily on his hairline.
- As a native of the east coast, Elijah was convinced that he needed a passport to attend school on New Mexican soil.
- Will be unveiling his senior thesis project at this year’s Burning Man festival – it is entitled “300 naked women and two tons of lunchmeat”.
- Makes frequent trips to Roswell, NM to look for E.T.
- Still has his birthday parties at Chuck E. Cheese’s
- It is his lifelong dream to appear on Masterpiece Theater as famed British naval hero Admiral Lord Horatio Nelson.
- Originally from Rio De Janiero, Brazil. Fled to the United States to escape the public shame of coming in dead-last in the all-city thong competition.
- During a routine traffic stop in 2006, Las Cruces police attempted to deport Passos… to Mexico.
- Transferred to NM State from Arkansas-Fort Smith, home of the fearsome “Forty minutes of H-E-double hockey sticks” system.
- Attended Pullman HS, Oklahoma A&M, Kansas State, and now New Mexico state in his relentless search for the true middle of nowhere.
- One of his proudest achievements while at K-State was scoring 14 points in a win over Missouri and making Quin Snyder cry.
- Hoped to follow in Dennis Rodman’s footsteps by attending A&M, but was unable to make the next step when he found out he was allergic to hair dye and looked fat in a wedding dress.
Whether the Aggies make the NCAAs or not probably depends on whether they hold serve on their home court and win a few games in the conference tourney. One thing’s for sure, though. If this squad can’t get it done, Coach
Fuller Theus won’t hesitate to bring in a girl who can shoot the rock.
I kid because I love here at Extrapolater. However, I do have a site dedicated to getting the straight dope about colleges across America, called College Rule Notebook. If you’d like to set me straight, take the quick survey. We’ll dig up links & photos to illustrate your answers.